What Hurts the Most
by Talenyn01
Summary: Post Doomsday. The Doctor struggles to get over the loss of his beloved Rose.


**Disclaimer: I don't own either Doctor Who or What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts**

The Doctor slumped dejectedly in the corner of Rose's old TARDIS room. He'd tried get over the tragic loss of his Rose but the TARDIS wouldn't let him. It just didn't seem to agree that rushing headlong into danger was the best way to get over someone. Too bad, now all the Doctor could do is sit listlessly as Rose's old radio played a song in the background.

**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me**

_Yes the humming of the empty TARDIS was unnerving. I swear I can still hear echoes of her laughter; sweet and clear, filling the ship with joy._

**I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while**

_Time Lords aren't supposed to cry, aren't supposed to get attached to anything or anyone. But I do cry, because not even the loss of my people hurt this much._

**Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me**

_God it hurts. It always does when a companion leaves. I should just move on, but I can't. I just can't.**  
**_**  
What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away**

_Bad Wolf Bay. She seemed so close, almost like she was right beside me again. Except she wasn't, she isn't. She's an entire universe away, so far away. I never told her. I finally worked up the nerve and I didn't even get to tell her how much she meant to me, means to me._

**And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do**

_I love her more than anything. I hope she knows that; even though I was too much of an idiot to tell her._

**It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It**

**It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still Harder**

_And still we travel, the TARDIS and I. But it's not the same; it will never be the same again. She taught me how to live after the death of my people, and without her I've forgotten again. I doubt I'll ever remember._

**Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken**

_What I wouldn't do for a second chance; the chance to tell her how much I love her, how much I've always loved her, and how much I always will._

**  
What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do**

_Our last encounter keeps playing in my head; round and round like a broken record. She looked so lost, so sad, standing there as the harsh wind whipped her hair around her face. And she was still so beautiful, even through her tears. I've lived over 900 years and I've never seen any beauty that could compare to my beloved Rose. I'm so proud of her; for finding a way to continue saving the world, for getting on with her life. My poor brave Rose. She's so much stronger than she seems; so much stronger than I am._

**  
What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do**

_We'll never know what might have happened. What we could have been. And it's killing me. I know that it's pointless to get worked up over "what if?" but I can't help it. So many possibilities now fading away. Slipping through thier fingers like water.  
_

**  
Not seeing that loving you  
That's what I was trying to do  
Ooohhh...**

_Wait… fading? Not gone? That means there's still a chance to get Rose back! I thought it was impossible but…Even if it is, I'll make it possible. I'm going to find her. I'm going to tell her I love her. I'm not going to loose her again._

The Doctor suddenly leapt up, new hope and determination burning in his eyes. Nothing could stop him now as he set off for the consol room. He'd come so close to giving up, but never again! He would get his Rose back. No matter what.

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